TERROR Strikes...

26-11-2008 a date that no Mumbaikar will ever forget. Nearly 52 hrs have passed now and I have been glued to the T.V just like all others across the country. We have witnessed everything that makes up a good Hollywood production Car chases, Bombings, Shoot outs, Hostage scenarios... everything that would make up a good Steph Speilberg movie, but this time the show is not on HBO or star movies but its being played live on all our news channels.

Now when the situation is much under control a lot of fingers are being pointed, the politicians say its Pakistan, Israel slams India for carrying out a pre-mature operation at Nariman house and so on...But I guess in the end the bottom line remains, they f****d us. We lost our valorous men in this entire operation, but facing the truth we should realize that they were damn well prepared not only with the weapons but with the management of this entire operation. Anyone who has been tracking this entire episode realises that it doesn't end here, it will take some time for Mumbai to get back on its feet. It will take some time for India to realise the enormity of the incident and take proper reforms, but what do we as young citizens do in a situation like this? For the last 2 days I have been simply pondering if there is anything that I can do to help and I'm sure many of you reading this would be thinking the same. But as I think more about this gruesome incident I feel its only vigilance that can avoid situations like these. The police always keep reminding us about this fact after every act of terririsom but somehow we don't learn. I think its high time we forget the racial, ethinic, cultural and religious differences between us and be more aware of our surroundings. You don't need special training or a degree to be more concious, but it could save a lot of lives.

In this short para I have made some spelling errors and I'm sure some of you haven't even realized it. I guess its time to UNDERSTAND rather than READ and it's surely time to ACT rather than TALK. I just hope we learn our lessons from this cruel act of terror and I'm glad that atleast our political parties have not started tearing each other apart and are supporting our nation as one body (atleast till now.)

Last Thoughts...

I look at the peaks far in the distance,
glaring at them without the slightest sign of hesitance,
Its far b4 dawn and late after dusk,
no soul in sight but a watch is a must.

Sitting in the dark, I wonder why I'm here,
why can't I just go home and have a jug of beer.
Why cant I just see my children play,
why can't I just sit home and listen to the Dj.

As I sit here thoughts linger by the million,
but I simply cant reach a stable conclusion.
Who is responsible for this mayhem and massacre?
what has one to gain from capture and conquer?

Life seems like a mess,
but its my duty to protect the rest.
The Kings and the Knights sit comfortably indoors,
Leaving us pawns to fight their dirty wars.

Day in and day out I sit here thinking,
about my wife and my children who yearn for my coming.
Freedom is fine and I'm glad it is free,
but why does it take so much from me...

Depression...

Hi guys I have taken this article from http://www.warwickrendell.com/2008/09/17/depression-in-my-own-words/
He explains the term beautifully...

You can’t explain to someone who hasn’t been there what it’s like to wake up, and the black curtain of storm clouds have suddenly dropped around you. How do you face the people around you, silently mouthing to each other “again?”. How can you explain that the objectively irrational impulses seem subjectively rational? That you understand that you’re not OK, but there’s nothing you can do to change it, while the world goes on making demands as if you still felt “normal”.

Your partner still wants you to be able to be there for her. The kids still want to get hugs from you - and they still need to eat. The boss still wants you to output widgets. The bank still wants you to make payments on the credit cards you used to survive when things went pear-shaped last time. The landlord still wants his rent.

There are two ways things can go from here. Sometimes with a good night’s sleep (or two, or more), and some looking after yourself, things will be OK again, and you’ll pick up your stuff, and keep moving forwards.

Sometimes, things don’t get better. The wiring isn’t just on the fritz, it’s burnt out. If you ask for help, they’ll insist on chemical assistance. They don’t really understand quite why or how the chemicals work, but “they should help”. They might (will) have side effects. The cure might end up being worse than the disease. If that one doesn’t work, they have others. Or a cocktail of medications, each one to deal with the side effects of another. That way lies its own unique madness.

With the meds, they might prescribe talking. Lots of talking, in the vain hope that like the infinite monkeys with their infinite typewriters might turn out some Shakespeare, if you say enough words for long enough, everything might fall into place. Sometimes they’re good at listening, sometimes they’re not. With the right person, it helps.

Some sift your words carefully, picking out the little nuggets of truth that help you understand a little better who you are. Others nod, grunt, and write you another prescription. I’ve known both. And it’s expensive to sit in a little room and talk. When you’re in a situation where you need to sit in a little room and talk, there’s a good chance that you’re not in a position to be able to afford it.

Fortunately, for me, most days now resemble ordinary. I wake up. I stare at the face in the mirror worn with lines I don’t remember collecting, and stubble that feels like it belongs on someone older than me. I go to work, and try to fit into “normal” like a cheap suit that I bought in a hurry and can’t take back.

She... By Tapas Mohanty

She stood there alone ,on the lonely street,
The chill bit her hard, but her cold feet,
Dead as a corpse, she waited in the dark,
Wilted she waited, like a dying spark,

Just a piece of flesh and that's what they need,
Just a "need" I am, on which they always feed,
They don't feel a thing, they can't see my scars,
Just a "thing" I am ,sold in the bazaars,

I don't curse my fate, I don't cry a tear,
Never do I regret coz I know my life won't steer,
Yes! I slander at times, about a thing or two,
Why did He give me life and why do I love it too,

I don't pray for a hero, who would hold my hand,
I never prayed for a fairy with her magic wand,
All I need is a day, where I could "live" for a while
A day in my days, that would make me smile,

A stranger of a man ,who'll love me with his eyes,
The sweetest of truths, that could kill the holy lies...
The tunes hummed deeper , as she laid on the bed,
The night wanted tears but she laughed instead,

Her dreams were mauled, her hopes were raped,
Her heart laid still, her shivers coldly draped,
Just a piece of flesh, just a "thing" she was,
Just a sorry truth, in their gory claws.

Mirror Mirrior...

Mirror Mirror on the wall,
Am I looking at myself at all.
I don't recognise the one I see,
So shallow but still so deep.

Somehow this picture is still not clear,
I see too many scar's which look like fear.
Fear of thoughts which are so unclear,
Fear of people who were so near.

But the harder I stare,
I see a picture which is true and fair.
Below the scar's on my face,
I see a glow similar to that of a mace.

I wonder how I got this way,
I wonder how the near one's went away.
But in the end these scar's don't matter,
Right now I wanna dissapear, just fly away on my zephyr.

Three Men in a Boat...

About two month back when I was in Bangalore I picked up this book called "Three Men in a Boat" by Jerome K Jerome from Blossoms...Although I'm not much of a reader the sheer joy of so many books being sold at such low prices made me pick up a couple.

Recently after nearly 11/2 month I finally started reading this one "Three Men in a Boat". The book starts off quite okay and since I'm not a book enthusiast initially I couldn't go past a page. But guys even for a person like me, for whom reading books in the school days would be more of a burden than pleasure while the other children would flock to the libraries and get books by the dozen and somehow manage to finish them in a week (Quite a Herculean task for me), this one has really caught on to me. In the simplest of words this guy is FANTASTIC. The book is mainly about 3 men (George, Harris and Jerome himself) and their dog Montmorency (By the way the title also mentions "To say nothing of the Dog" in italics neatly put in a bracket)who decide to spend a fortnight on the river Thames. You simply keep turning pages laughing your guts out at every single page of this extremely witty composition. The author not only sticks to his story but at the same time highlights the different facets of human nature. Each character is unique in its own way but when put together they fit perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle. And trust me this dog can make you fall off the bed, the timely gestures of the dog simply puts the reader at his wits end.

I would surely give this book a big thumps up, a must buy for all you book freaks and also a must read for all who hate reading...

The Cool Shade...

Hailing from a cool place you never realize the value of a tree and the shade it offers to the weary travellers...Being in Kanpur from the last few weeks I realized the value of trees and the influence they have in our day to day lives. IIT Kanpur in that matter is quite a good place to stay, it has a pretty descent cover of trees which keeps the place quite cool even during the summer's where the temperatures can reach up to 40 C quite easily.

Today afternoon it was quite a cool day as compared to Kanpur standards, must be around 35 C (that's what the weather broadcast said this morn.) but still this place was burning hot. As I was going back after a real heavy lunch of paneer, rice and my favourite rasagulla. I simply could not walk on the burning road, I was dying to walk in the shade. The experience was simply too much to bare I must have sweat out about half a litre in a simple walk of about 10 Min's. The moment I saw some shade I would rush to it and take a break for a few seconds and then again get on with my battle. Those 10 Min's were quite horrifying, it was the cool A.C of my Lab that could relax me and bring me back to my senses to work again. This scorching heat can be quite unforgiving especially for the people on the road. The trees would simply embrace all those who need her without prejudice's of caste and creed and would allow them to rest in her shrine for as long as they want,never expecting anything in return. Truly a gesture of great selflessness which we as humans fail to show towards our fellow beings. Maybe this is just one of the numerous reason we call her "MOTHER Earth".

This same walk around 6pm is one of the most pleasant roads around with the sun setting in the background and the birds and the peacocks all going back to their homes.

Trip To Delhi

Last weekend I decided to go to Delhi to give my sister a surprise visit who is very soon going to LSE for her Master's. Right now since I'm at IIT Kanpur I thought this trip would be quite a usual one since it was just a matter of 6 odd hrs...but to my surprise and bewilderment the two days turned out to be the fulls of ups and downs....

Now this turned out to be one of the most abrupt plans ever, while having dinner on Friday evening at the mess and simply cursing the food and really missing my home, at the spur of the moment I decided to go to Delhi to meet my sis...Now the idea was to leave Kanpur by around 11 in the night and reach Delhi by about 6 in the morn and spend some time with my sis and then move on to meet some other friends who stayed near Delhi (For me coming from a rather small city like Pune it was hard to fathom the size of Delhi and I simply assumed places like Ghaziabad and Gurgaon would be a simple half an ride from Delhi ).

Due to my lack of Common sense and extreme dumbness I assumed that I would get the train ticket fairly easily (Please keep this in mind never try to book a ticket 4 hrs before the journey you will never manage to get a confirmation), so I log on to the Internet and book the an e-ticket with a waiting list of 98 simply assuming that at least I'll be able to stand and reach Delhi in the morning. So I take this ticket and reach the station around 11:10 (Departure of the train was at 11:30), while I was just wandering on the station and playing with my ticket I somehow managed to read the rules on the ticket...It said that all those having a e-ticket and whose name don't appear on the chart they cant board the train at all.... so i started looking for the charts and I guess this is the time my miss fortune started....Somehow nobody on the platform knew where the charts were, this included even the TT and the people on the info desk, I'm sure the TT's and the people on the information desk would have known it but were simply too busy or maybe preoccupied to show me the way...but then arnd 11:20 I find this really old coolie who finally manages to show me where the charts wer put up...Not to my surprise I find that my name is not on the charts which I had expected, cause I had booked the tickets just 4 hrs back and my waiting list number was 98 ....So I ask the TT wat can be done abt it he say's Ill be fined and the fine is Rs1,000 if the crime is done unintentionally or Rs1000+jail if its intentionally...so I tell him I am ready to pay the fine so take it right now...I dont know how I managed to come across this guy in INDIA...somehow he was the most "sajjan" TT I have met he simply refused to take the fine and quite sternly said that I would be put in jail if I board the train...I was quite shocked at this response but then I felt that since there were other people around he didn't want to say anything..so I waited till the crowd cleared and I asked him again but he again got angry so I thought maybe he want some money so I just asked him...now bribing a person in India generally works and I was ready to pay the fine too....but somehow he got even more pissed and threatened me to dire consequences if I didn't leave..quite a strange start to this journey.

LiFe

One day as I sat a thought ran through my mind,
A thought that would change me for a never ending time...

The thought was about my life,
which I thought was perfect and fine,
but then as reality hit my face,
I knew nothing remained with the earlier grace.

I suddenly realized nothing was right,
The ones I loved were up for a fight,
I tried my best to get out of the tight,
But it was my angel that guided me through the night.

I respect her for everything she did,
she tried to give me everything,
but i was the fool to get nothing,
I still believed that the loved one's would come back,
and imagined things that were never to be,
She made me feel good for everything I did,
but the fool in me did not value her for her deeds,
it still believed that my loved ones would help me in my times of need.

I still struggle in this belief,
unable to reach the stage of my relief,
these loved ones I called frndz were never to be,
and my angel please remeber you will always be............

A kids Dream...

A Beautiful spring morning, a little boy running down the street,
got hit by something big and was thrown right off his feet.

He did not hear the voices shouting all around him,
neither could he feel the chaos engulfing him.
All he heard was the chirps of the sparrows,
and saw the mesmerizing blue sky hovering in the shadows.

He felt an eternal bliss which he had never felt before,
with loved ones all around him helping to sail shore.

Then suddenly with a thud, he came back to his senses,
feeling oozing blood and burning scratches.
The pain he felt was just too much to bare,
he simply couldn't understand why was all this his share.

Out of nowhere came a hand and pushed him back and forth,
suddenly the pain left and there was chaos no more.
Rubbing his eyes and dripping in sweat,
the little boy experienced something we call DEATH.

My little friend...

Rain pouring on the rooftop,
sounds so much like the sweetness in her voice.
The thunder all around me,
is much like my life.
All I wanted was the little sparrow to be what she is,
wanted to protect her from the darkness and the coldness of the mist.

But the little friend took me as a foe,
deciding to fly out the window.
I tried to keep her in only trying to keep her safe,
but she considered this to be a cage.
Finally looking at the little one's despair,
I decided to let her breathe fresh air.
I let her fly in the darkness of the growing storm,
Simply praying for her safety and wishing she would be back once more............

Life Goes on...

You have always been there for me, every day of the year.
You helped me through everything, and wiped away my tears.
You made me feel special, like no one had before.
You had me addicted; I just kept coming back for more.

And Im still addicted, I just cant help myself.
For this past year, there has been no one else.
I dont know why Ive loved you, for so long.
But I have to say, it doesnt feel wrong.

In fact, it feels more right, than anything yet.
Its just my feelings that I dont quite get.
Why have I loved you, for what seems like forever?
Why do I love you, when were not even together?

I dont know the answer, but it doesnt matter.
The answer wont tell my heart not to shatter.
So Im just going to go on and act like Im okay.
Pretend that I dont love you, like I do everyday.